There are a bit over seven billion people in this world, and yet we cocoon ourselves into groups. We rarely want to mix, and yet we complain incessantly about matters big and small: "our country does not have enough jobs, our society is antiquated, I can't find anyone I like in my city."
However, if we complain so much, (and we all have at least once) why do we not just look for a change? I know some people do, and I applaud their courage for making big changes in their lives. But, have you ever thought that making a change in your life might be a lot simpler than we think?
An uncle of mine once told me that "within a city there are tens of cities." At first, I had no idea what he was talking about (there is a lot of alcohol involved in our family meetings), but then he explained. He asked me if I had been to different parts of my city, and I said yes. Then he described each part, making note of the differences between people, restaurants, and even the physical aspect of each place. He explained how different people act in a wealthy area versus a less developed area, and so forth. It made sense to me, and I even recall describing the differences in clothes between people. How "weird" that within a city you have different "cities." Then he explained how in those different places, there are spheres of influence. If you interact with the people from one place, you will be joining a whole new sphere of connections and opportunities (these can be good and/or bad). So, going back, changing an aspect of your life might be as simple as wandering into different parts of your city where you can find new people, new mentalities, new experiences, etc.
The other day I was on the subway (or u-bahn as the germans call it) going back home, and a man sat in front of me. As we all do, I glanced at him (I am not certain why, but this could be another topic for discussion) and then went about minding my own business. As we approached the next stop, I glanced at him again and realized that he had an odd looking gold chain with a pendant. It took me a few second but I realized this guy was wearing a pendant with the shape of palestine, and was colored red, green, white and black (the flag colors).
There it was, my opportunity to talk to a complete stranger! My best friend is from Palestine, and I thought that could be a very easy way to spark a conversation with this man. Yet, for some reason I did not. I sat there looking at him, without saying a word. But why?
Here are some reasons, at the time, which made me not talk to this person.
1. My German is not fluent enough to start a conversation.
2. I am not one hundred percent sure it was the palestinian flag.
3. The guy looked like he did not want to talk to anyone.
4. I had to get off soon, so it might not even have been worth it.
Once home, I realized these were not reasons, but excuses.
Why is it so difficult to start a conversation with a complete stranger? Is it just me, or do other people also have trouble in this area? Is there a magic formula you can use to talk to anyone?
I have heard knowledge will make you speak without hesitation. Certainly, the more you know about a topic, the more confident you are discussing the topic. Is this true?
"If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart." Nelson Mandela
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